This is a little something that I wrote to my dad when I was really confused on life and growing up. At the time I had wrote this I was a senior in high school and contemplating on whether or not to drop out or not. This poem to my dad was just kind of a way to talk to him, like I have never before and it opened up a lot of new doors that allowed my feelings that I had been keeping trapped inside to finally come out. Somehow, this poem allowed me to tell him things that I was so confused on and made me feel a lot better about myself.

I know that this is not your typical poem, but I would just like it on the Internet so that teenagers that have the same feelings can know that they are not alone.

This poem originally was published in Poems on Life - Teen Poems

Dear Dad

I'm beginning to understand life less and less everyday. When I was
young, I use to believe that I had actually had the world all figured out,
but now, as I grow, I know that having the world all figured out is
virtually impossible because I now realize that I will never understand
even the simplest things that life has to offer, like why people love who
they love, and why people fight with the ones they love the most.

People use to tell me that I was going to go places, that I was the one
that was actually going to be somebody . . . that somebody that my parents
never were, that somebody they long for me to be, and that somebody I have
always dreamed of becoming, not just to satisfy myself but also to satisfy
my family and those around me. Now it is as if my life has taken a 360
degree turn around the sharpest corner of life. I am so confused on
everything. I am now beginning to question all of my goals and
aspirations in life that I had once set for myself. Life is getting too
complicated for me, I'm to the point where I am just living day by day,
completely careless to those around me. Though I feel as if I have
everything in life that a girl could ask for - I have a lot of friends,
family, and a boyfriend that cares for me greatly, I feel more alone than
I ever have before. I just have this emptiness inside of me, and I don't
know how to fill it.

I say that I am in love, but who really knows what love is?
I guess I'm just another crazy teenager, taking one long ride on
the Roller Coaster of life. Where and when will this roller coaster stop?
Nobody knows, not even myself, all I know is I am ready to get off now.
Some days I just wish that I could be totally oblivious to the world and
other days I long for people to be around me.

I use to be a very caring person, I would do anything for anyone but now
it's as if I have no cares, and now worry about what people will think of me
if I don't do what is expected.

I have stopped living by what other people think of me and I have started
living how I want to live. I no longer act like the person I am not, I
show my true colors and many do not like them. Maybe that is why I am so
confused . . . I don't know who to satisfy, myself or the people that care
about me.

I don't think that I will ever understand this roller coaster and why I was
chosen to take this ride, right now I don't know if it will ever even come
to a complete stop, but until it does I guess I will just keep feeling
this way inside.


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Visitor Comments (from the Voting form)
  • deshae
    i Luv This Poem Because It Reminds Me Of My Dad Who Left My Mom
  • Shana
    This really touched me. The author is bloody amazing. and feels exactly the same way as i do :) xx
  • candice
    Nikki, I was so touched by your poem. The whole time I was reading it I thought to myself this girl went through the same exact thing thing that iam going through now. Keep up the good work and always follow your heart.
  • kerston
    this poem touched me, because i feel that way a loy of the time. sometimes its hard to say what you really want to say. and this poem does say it. i couldn't have talked to my dad about anything. for a long time i would wonder who am i really. people do not like me either. i just tell it like it is. after my best friend in the world passed away. it was even harder to tell anyone how i felt and i would just like to tell everyone not to be afarid to tell anyone how you really feel. i would also like to tell nikki that she wrote a wonderful poem. it really has touched me.
  • im a parent
    I just wanting to say by reading this I now understand better of what my boy are feeling thank you for sharing
  • Jessica
    i love thins poem becasue i know just the way you fell. like why this stuff happen for. !i love that poem
  • Jenn
    I loved this letter/poem! I'm not currently feeling the way you described, but I understand to a lesser degree what you were describing. Also, I will be entering high school next year and it is very overwhelming. I'm not sure how to handle it and I think this poem summed up an unsure life very well.
  • Dana
    . im speachless
  • TyTia'na
    i love this poem. it touched me deeply. i've wondered for so long was i the only one that felt like this, and now i know.
  • victoria
    i like nikki's poem because i can relate to what she is saying i start to question my self and wonder if i got wat it takes to be what i want to be. and i often catch my self thinking about what other people think about me. (i am a very self consious person) umm. i guess what i am trying basically to say is that i kno what it feels like and what i do is try my hardest to forget about everyone else and start focusing on me! i have never had a boyfriend so i wouldn't know what that feels like. and also i don't have a dad well i do but he live miles away sometimes i wonder what would my life be like if he were around more and if i need him to be there in order for me to succeed? i guess i'll just have to figure it out on my own. nikki you are really gifted keep writing poems and keep in touch -your friend Victoria
  • Slim
    this was a poem that really stucc out to me bcuz i fee how she does. everyone says im gonna b tha one2make it. im gonna b tha one2finish high school go to college. n thats wat i used to want too. but now it jus seems so far away. its crazi how confused u do realli feel cuz u wantd that before n now it seems so far u dont even wanna try. i jus moved away from my hometown n im in a whole new place. my mind is like scribble scrabble. i miss my boyfriend who made me feel like no1else. n my bestfriend. my P. I. C. (partner in crime)im alone n really confused.
  • Terra
    OMG! I read this letter and I relised that this is exactly how I feel about my life. I feel like it will never end. It was just so amazing how someone can feel almose exactly how I do. Good poem/letter.
  • hannah
    This poem made me think about life and what we had to go through, it was so interesting to read a letter written by someone growing up! awsome.
  • Kelley
    This really touched because it is so true and also because my dad is gone.
  • Mari
    nikki. I dont know. its funny how I had a friend that felt the same way. and her name was nikki too. I feel everythin you say. I like this
  • sheila
    It is really good
  • Ashley
    I love this poem. I have been looking everywhere for a poem to give my dad that said what I wanted it to say and when I read this one, I wanted to cry because that is what I am feeling now.
  • casey
    this poem really made me think of my own life and i could not relate more. i feel like someone just summed up how i feel on one page. i totally understand about being your own person and when you become that person no one likes you and your torn from being yourself or who your parents want you to be. i grew up with my dad and he had so many goals for me so thats why i think it hit so hard.
  • Brit
    This poem i showed my Dad and he was clued in to how i feel in this stage in my life he was touched that i showed him that and nikki you did a great job god really gave you something when he planned you keep it up even if your confused from one poet to another keep writing or scribble that works also thanks so much
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