My grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease when I was 18 years old. Over the course of the past 10 years she has slowly left us all alone. Her memories of us have left her, although mine of her have not.
My poem is about some of those special memories that I have of her and of how very much I miss her.
This poem originally was published in Poems on Life - Family Poems
Missing Grandma
I have a grandma . . . who hugs, kisses, smiles and says, "My, how you've grown" whenever she sees me. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who plays in the creek at deer camp and helps me catch Cray fish without going eeewww. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who can teach me how to play solitaire three different ways and not snitch if I cheat. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who tells the most wonderful stories, snorts when she laughs, and has a joke with four punch lines. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who comes to my tea parties, plays dress up and always lets me be the queen. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who drives a sporty purple car, very fast just to make me and my sister laugh out loud. but not anymore . . . I have a grandma . . . who has Alzheimer's disease, doesn't know my name or even say, "My how you've grown" when she sees me but she's not my grandma . . . I want her to let my grandma come out to play. |
©
1999
Tara
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84 Visitor Comments (from the Voting form)
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PatThank you Tara. My Mom had alzhimers so she also died twice. The second time was a blessing. Enjoy your memories, and keep writing.
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CindyI have a Mom just like your Grandma who like yours is "in there" somewhere, but can't come out to play. I didn't even get to say goodbye, because by the time I knew she was leaving, it was like it was too late. Your poem is so touching and I thank you for sharing your pain and love. Hold your Grandma's hand. I like to believe that somehow they know we're there.
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kamwow. thats beutiful in a way, but sad in another. such a bad thing sorry
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mariehow very very sad,but at least you remember your grandma in all her glory,god bless you,her mind will never die as long as you keep it alive in safe keeping with your very prescious memories
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daniellethis poem is fantastic for all the children who have lost there nan's its gergous
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melissaI loved the poem. Very sad, but true.
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nurulI love it so much. My grandma passed away when i was sitting for my examination only god knows how much i love her. shes everything. ur poems put my situation into a nice piece of rhythm. shes suffering of cancer. losing lots of bloods everyday. each time her tumour bleeds. aniway to all of you who lost love ones may they rest in peace and those with granny treasure them while u can. believe me it is never a regret to love them. be strong yeah. have faith
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LINDAi just like to say. that i really injoy all of the poetry. that i have read. i loved marilyn. her poetry really dose bless me. and i did have a mother in law. that she did not even know her sons. and what really hurt. were that she did not even remember her grandchildren. she used to laugh and injoy life. but somewhere down the road. her mind started to go bad. and she were never the same again. she went home to be with our presicous lord in 2001. and my father in law passed away this past july. so keep up the good work that god has given you. with all the beautiful poetry. and may god blessing be with you alway. in christ love. linda.
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armettaThat is a very toching poem my grandma is my life and i know how it feels to have a grandparent not no who you are anymore
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heatheri really liked that poem that happened to me too you know i am now 23 but that was really good
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yvettewow! this poem went in deep in my heart it even made me cry because thats kind of the same thing that is happening to me right now.
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AnnabellThis poem really mad me sad to read it, My grandma is now at the last vital stage of Alzheimers so i know how the poet feels. xx
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janicei know how you feel just two days ago my grandmama past away and some time i think is just a bad dream but is not i wish shell come back to me
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lilyMy grandma got a broken neck this is exacly how she is i love this poem!
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AlyssaI loved your poem it really touched me see my mammaw just passed in january, and I'm not dealing with it to well, cause she was more than my grandma, she was my mom, my teacher, my bestfriend, my hero, and I didn't realize just how much I depended on her until she was gone, it also kills me that my two girls will never meet the person who meant the most to me.
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bethanwhen i wos on holdy my grandpa fond me and broke the nows to mei wos so agrey that she did in that way i wont to kill my seve but i now we will meet a gen sume time
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MonicaThis poem is very nice, realistic and sad. I am a 30 year old woman, her 1st grandchild of 22 the youngest are 2 years old and my grandma is 77 years old. She got diagnosed with Alhzeimer just a few months back. She stills remember all of us, but forgets many other things. The doctor told us that eventually she will not remember us either. This is a poem that touched me deaply because eventually I will want my grandma to come out and play.
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veronicaI just love this poem. It bought great memories and tears. I cried as I read it along with the other comments that was posted. I remembered my grandmother and the person she used to be. My grandmother was diagnosed with alzheimer's last year but I think she was showing symptoms back in 2004 when I used to call her and she would slurr her words and repeat herself but I didn't know until last year. Now when I call her, I never know what kind of day she's having cuz of the way her mind is. I sure miss her alot! and I know just where you are coming from and I feel for you. Just keep your chin up and remember all the good times you and your grandmother had. ok. and I'll do the same. We'll be ok.
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SarahI loved it. It really touched me because my Grandmother just died of the same thing.
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thomasI't make me thank about my grandma that i love a lot. She is the best grandma. if you can writ me back You'e Friend Thomas Frye
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janMY GRANDMA ALSO HAS THE SAME THING FOR THE LAST 11 YEARS. SHE DIED TWO WEEKS AGO. SO I KNOW FIRST HAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. BUT JUST REMEMBER SHE IS STILL YOUR GRANDMA SHE JUST DOES NOT REMEMBER THAT BUT YOU DO AND THAT IS WHAT COUNTS.
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KristanI loved it, but how do u write poems on the internet to get published?
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vikkiI liked this poem because it really tells it how it is. I am going threw this with my mom and I feel the same way.
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alannaMy grandma is in the hospital right now she just got cancer again for the 3rd time. This was a really good poem.
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lisaAfter reading this is was in tears, as i had a grandma who died of Alzheimer's in '2000'. Im in my teenage years and she was always there to help me through tough times in life and to make me laugh, i always hoped she would help me through these tough teenage years.
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SabrinaI just wanted to say that this poem really really touched me because i am 17 years old and my grandma might have this disease. And im afaird that she is going to forget about us forever. No matter what happens, she will always be in my heart. I love this poem because these are som things that me and my grandma would do together before she got sick and all. Thank you for listening to what i have to say. Bye
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Kassandrathis was great even for someone that has not been around anything like it good Job !
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SamThis was an amazing poem. I have a very close relationship with my grandmother and she also has the same disease. It was a very touching poem and it made me cry.
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samanthathis poem really touched me cause i know how it feels my grandma was diagnosed with Leukaemia around easter and from them till about three weeks ago my family had been going to see her every day, and i watched my grandma get weaker and weaker until one day i come home from school and my mum broke the news to me and it was hard. My grandma held my family together she was a wounderfull person and a person i will never forget, i love her, i miss her and my only wish would be that she didn't have to die that way.
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emmait made me feel a bit sad when i read ur poem as my nan died in march and i miss her like crazy.
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LouiseI like this poem because it touch my heart because I have a grandmother that died a few years ago and this poem remind me of her thank you for writing this poem I miss my grandmother too
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AmandaI really like this poem, because I really know how you feel. I have a grandma with alzheimer too. And I really understand what you're going through right now. I know that you feel like hidding and start crying because you just cant believe your grandma can't recognize you.
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SamanthaThis touched my heart, I hope and I pray that I don't get this as I would miss so much from my Grand children.
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QubraHei Tara, just wanna say that this poem brought a memory of ma grandmom. I had one whom i knew in 2 and a half yrs and then she disappeared,u know what i mean. But this poem means alot to me, hope she knows that i love and that i always pray for her soul. I love this poem;)
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bethThis poem was very touching. I work in a alzheimers home and i see it everyday and it breaks my heart. Knowing how the persons family feels makes me love my job even more.
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LindaThis poem touched my personally, as my own mother was diagnosed with early onset Alheimers at 53 and was in a vegetative state within 4 years. At the time our daughter was only 4 years old and by the time she was in 4th grade she had become affected by the loss of her grandmother and did a research paper on it for laungage. It brought back those memories.
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SusanThis poem was very touching. The only thing I can say is I LOVED IT.
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alimy grandma has no idea who i am and this poem made me cry cuz its like me i sent her this and never heard back
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michelleit was a really well written poem and i dont know
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charlottetara ur poem touched me . i havent lost n e 1 close 2 the illness but i no of its affects . but its still touched me after my grandfather pasted away and wanted 2 let u no tht it has given me some comfort in tht i c gd memories wil alwys b with us and they will hide the bad 1s and i wuld like 2 say . altho ur grandmother was not the same person as the illness grew worse . now her spirit is free 2 b her agen and altho im sure she seemed like a different person on the outside on the inside she had the same heart. n her love wil alwys b with u and waiting 4 u wen u meet agen . x thnx x
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sheilaMy Mum has dementia, she is not my Mum as I know her. I still love her though because she still looks like my Mum, but the words don't say what my Mum used to say. No matter what happens though, she will always be my Mum. For reasons only known to themselves, my Son and his wife won't let me see my first and only Granddaughter Sophie. One day Sophie may lose me to dementia or Alzheimers - I hope I get to know her before then, I would like her to remember me as I am now.
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Lindatara i know how you fell about your grandma because i had a grandma i thought who hung the moon i love her with all my heart and now she gone she died in 1972 i still miss her as life it self please keep writing poems about your grandma or anyone you can thank you for your site and most of all thank you for shareing with alll Linda
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NikkiI know how you feel. We found out my grandfather has Alzheimer's disease three years ago. This poem really touched me because I didn't know how to put it into words. I miss how my paw-paw used to act. Now we have to take care of him. He means so much to me I hate to see him like this.
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carithis is a great poem yes it is sad but it is good thankyou for writing it It reminds me of my grandma
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MarieThe poem toched my heart.
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AubreyThis is what happened to my Grandma, this past year she passed away because she was ill, she had cancer in her liver. All the medication she was on made her not know me, always think someone who was there to take care of her is goin to hurt her.
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KirstenWe are writing a textbook in Literature for secondary school students in Singapore. Please see the attached letter for more information on our project. We would like to use the poem, "Missing Grandma" by Tara that is on your website. (Publisher's Note: Unfortunately, Tara hasn't updated her email address and we were unable to pass this request along to her - Ron)
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jamieTara, this is a lovely poem. I am 26 years old and have a 6 year old son. I have been taking care of my grandmother who is much more like a mother for almost a year. She was diagnosed with complete Renal failure last October. I know that when a grandmother is ill and they are not there selves, it is very painful. My favorite part is about her coming out to play. My son is very close to her and he misses his GG playing and reading to him very much. I know how you feel and it is the worst kind of pain to watch someone you love so much go through all this. My one compfort is that I will never have any regrets and the fact that I know where she is going and who will be there to greet her. Thanks so the wonderful poem. jamie
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AmberI love this poem. Tara you are an amazing writer. I understand this poem and it moved me to tears. I lost my grandmother in May, not to Alzheimers; but there close to the end we thought maybe she had a touch of it. She was there but her memory was slowly going, one day when I went to visit her she looked at me like "Who are you and what are you doing in my room?" Of course after talking to her for a minute she snapped out of it and talked to me like nothing was wrong. I miss her terribly, she raised me and my brother and I wish she was here more everyday. But I know she is no longer suffering and she is watching over me. Thank you Tara for an amazing touching poem ~Amber~
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Victoriamy great grandma past away last year and those are the same things my grandma used to do and she had alzheimers also. that poem touched my heart. i'm 15 right now and my grandma meant alot to me and my family. she would say the sam e thing but not anymore. this poem is very good and it inspired me to right one my grnadma. i usually do so i put them in the paper. Victoria
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olgaIs a real good poem i love it you should continue on.
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juliecarmella ferringo died november 21, 2003 of Alzheimer's Disease. she was my grandmom and she didnt even know my name, she thought i was a girl that lived down the street, she always asked me how my grandmother was. it broke my heart. she was MY grandmom, i took care of her, through the whole deteriation process. i watched her mind slip away. it was so hard, i feel your pain, i know how it is, having someone you love soo much forget you. im sorry about your grandmom, but she loved you, cause i know mine did. great poem, made my cry.
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MartineThis poem make me think back to my grandad who by the end of his life did not remember me either. Thank you for helping me remember him.
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AngelaMy grandmother passed on April 22, 2003 due to same illness. I was moved by this poem
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RachelThat was so touching. made me think of mine thou she didnt have that she was killed in a car accident 2 years ago today I miss her so much
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deei really liked the poem i lost my grandmother a few years ago and i still miss her very much. it reminds me of her.
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LeslieDear Tara, My story is very similar to your own. My grandma passed away yesterday, after her 17 year battle with Alzheimer's Disease. I am 20 this year, which makes making a speech at her memorial very difficult because I was so young when she was still "Gommie". Most of what I remember is what you write in your poem, her stages of deteriation. I found myself searching my room tonight for anything I have left of her (mostly looking for a memory/picture) and I came up empty handed. For every milestone in my 20 years, she has missed. This disease robbed me and my family of a wonderful woman, and even more so robbed a wonderful woman 17 years of life and her family. I lost my "Gommie" many years ago, and her poor body has been with us so long. When she finally left us. she finally could sleep. Thank you Tara, and good luck to you and your family. And remember she is always with you.
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EvaThis poem touched me because it show you still feel very strong about her even though she has passed away but you still know that she loved you.
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MikeI really loved the poem, it touched my heart. It reminds me so much of my grandmother. Tara, you are a great writer. I hope I can see more of your poems. Thanks for giving to the world.
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SharleneHi, I am 29 and I totally understand your emotion's here. I enjoyed the poem & think it's beautiful, but sweetie. always remember that your grandparents are in there, this is just them reverting back to their childlike ways as they once were before you knew them when they were very small & pehaps even the baby stages. Remember they can hear you when you talk to them, they understand what you're saying, but they have no way to tell you this. and yes, they still love you with their whole heart above all. I know all this because I cared for my grandma & grandad through their Alzheimer's days and truely I would not trade it. Some of my fondest memories is those times. Also remember by writing this about her, You are keeping her memory alive as she was. Best wishes & keep your chin up. it will be ok.
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JessicaTara, Thank you for writing this poem. I was looking things up to bring to my grandmothers wake. I am 18 years old and lost my grandmother to cancer today. It has been very very hard on my family and this poem just made me smile today. I am glad that you took the time to write it. Its been the only thing i can smile about all day. Thanks again
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JOHANNAthis poem is very sad and i really liked it because i feel so sad about my grandparents living so far away from me and they havent heard me say I LOVE U to them.
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DeeYour words really moved me.
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BrendaI think that peom was great, it brougth tears to my eyes. I too as you have a grandmother that has alzheimer and its hard to think that a special person like that in your life doesn't remember you or ya'lls special times together. but you know deep deep down in their hearts they do remember. and they will cherish them forever.
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MThis is a very touching poem. My grandmother also had alzehiemers disease. And she passed on not remember who her family was. I hope that she knew that we were with her til her last breath. I hope that she remembers that we loved her. Thank you for this wonderful poem.
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Donnai have a grandma who has Alzheimer's and when i read this poem it made me cry, becouse it brought back all the meores i have with my grandma and it made me relize how much i relly miss my grandma
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AliI was looking for a poem for my grandma's memorial service & came upon this. I love it. Though my grandma didn't have Alzheimer's disease, your thoughts touched my heart greatly. She passed away 8-13-03. I miss her unbelievably! Thank you
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raeganI ENJOYED YOUR POEM , I FEEL THE SAME WAY MY GRAND MOTHER HAS ALZHEIMERS AND IT BROTHERS ME TOO.
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KMy grandma was recently diagnosed with cancer. It is brain cancer and I can relate to every single word you said in your poem, I never thought I would find someone who felt the same way I did. (I'm 13)
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BarbI'm a grandma and I often wonder what my grandchildren will remember about me. This is a very poignant poem which give me much to think about. Thank you for your sensitivity, too bad your grandma can't share it with you
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BarbI'm a grandma and I often wonder what about my relationship with my wonderful grandchildren will be remembered when I am no longer here. Never having had an accessible grandma, I'm not too sure what is important other than love and Tara obviously responded to the love her grandmother gave her. I was very moved and felt the poem was particularly poignant.
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ladisi love your poem cuz i lost my ranma in 2001 who has been in my life since the day i was born but now is gone this poem really made me cry my heart out thanks for letting my tars come out of something sad
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paulit was a poem that made me think how lucky we are to have family in our life. sometimes people take people for granted but when they are gone we miss them
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PammyThis poem really touched me. I know what it's like. I am only in high school and my grandmother passed away around christmas time of my 8th grade year from alzheimer's but she was gone years before that, she lost memories long before she died but it was so horrible to see he there, not able to even eat.
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catIt was a wonderful poem and I too am going through the same thing. IM SO SORRY
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ShanaThis is a very beautiful poem that touched me personally. My Grandmother had Alzhiemer's Disease also. She passed away in 1997. She was diagnosed in 1996 and her progression of the disease was rapid. My mother and I took care of her at home as long as we could, so I know exactly how it feels to watch a wonderful woman regress back to childhood. I know the pain of your grandmother not remembering your name, or who you are. I just always remembered that she loved me when she was well, so she had to also love me while she was sick because you can't just stop loving someone. Thank you for your poem, and hold on to those beautiful memories of who your grandmother really is inside.
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carini really like your poem my grandmother recently died in july and i really miss her and through her last days she didn't know who i was but now i know she is in a better place and she is looking down on me. but remember your grandma is still here and you need to be with her as much as you can cause you never know when she will leave you. i found that out too late.
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Jenniferthis pomes is every sweet and it is something that made me want to spend more time with my grandma.
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ShellyWONDERFUL! My step father is dealing with his mother's recently diagnosed Alzheimer's. His daughters are having a rough time. So I sent this to them.
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TaraI thought this was a great Poem! It reminds me of my grandma when she passed away when I was 5 and when my other grandma passed away when I was 2 months old too!
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KimI cried when I read this poem. I lost my grandma when I was 12, and 13 years later, I still miss her.
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AnnThe poem is good. It tells of a person missing their grandmother. There are different ways of missing somebody. One is when somebody dies. Another is when they are there but they don't recognize you. It is as if a stranger is on that bed instead. I believe that is what the second poem is about. Even though your grandmother doesn't always recognize you she still loves you very much. Diseases can take away many things, but they cannot take away the love you share with each other
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dawnwhen i read this poem it brougt a tear to my eye. it brought back al the memories of my grandma and me when she was stil living,
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CatherineIt's an excellent poem, I just about cried, because my grandmother died this past april of cancer.
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