Written at a sad time in my young life, this poem may be quite sad to many people. It is about the consequences of suicide and what could have been...if it had been successful.

Two simple words I learned form my whole almost death experience...Love Life. Being so young I shouldn't have had to deal with issues like this, but it taught me a lesson, to live each day as my last. Makes everything worthwhile.

This poem originally was published in Poems on Life - Teen Poems about Life

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It Could Have Been
by Molly Hudak
A dark and dreary day it could have been,
A funeral procession,
Heads hung in mourning numbers,
A young woman in infinite slumber,
Buried in rich red velvet and dark mahogany;
Her friends and family in agony.
They ask, "Why did she want to leave?
To go, and make us grieve?"
The thick gray headstone might have read,
Our daughter, Forever, we lay her to bed.
Then they'd walk away, weeping
And she'd just be sleeping...

That was the way it could have been,
After weeks and months, maybe ten
Years would go by, and someone would query
"Who was that girl, so young it was eerie,
That she would want to die,
Even before she gave life a try."
Or ask, "Think of her mother, what must she feel?
Does she still think if this is actually real?
Or does she wish her baby will still come home?"
Even though now her soul might roam
In the wide open world she needed so severely,
Despite the people she hurt so badly...

That was almost the way things turned out,
Death seemed the only way to go about
The confusion inside her heart and soul,
That pain added to all other hurts-the whole
Suffering-that came with the package.
All that bottled emotion turned to rage,
She found a self-destructive outlet,
Her way of screaming, but being quiet
Enough for no one to hear
Her pain, and all that fear
Of dying in that grotesque way,
Wanting to go, needing to stay...

That is not the way things are now,
She has learned, and she knows how
To feel pain and cry, letting it all go,
And float away with the breeze, so
She is happier, her mother doesn't ask "Why?"
Her friends don't wear black, marching by
Her grave, her family doesn't weep
At the memories they so painstakingly keep.
Now, all together they can sit in the sunshine,
Making new memories and laughing away the time.
She loves what life gives her, even if it invokes a tear
To form, she is glad to even be here.
© 1999 Molly Hudak Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
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36 Visitor Comments (from the Voting form)
  • Amanda
    Hey everyone has thought about commiting suicide. We really have to take a step back and think are we willing to go down the bank? Live life to the fullest, live every day as your last!
  • Paul
    Really loved the poem, as sad as its sounds has such meaning to it. Ive there myself and got thorugh it. and it was thanks to one pic i had with me at the time. My Kids. there is always a reason to fight and carry on as i know.
  • elli
    Iloved it. I was suicidal at one point in my life. The emotion you put into it is the best thing about it. You are truly a poet.
  • Christen
    wow, i still have tears in my eyes. For someone who has been suisideal, this poem made me realize how important life is. Continue writting, you do it beautifully! God Bless!
  • blessin
    that was so good. i my self have been goin thru some hard times and because of this poem it realy makes me think more. i love it
  • Pebbles
    Your poem was very touching because in March of this year my son who's 15 thought taking his own life wouldn't effct anyone until I found out and we seeked help. I printed this poem as a reminder for him. Thank you for writing such a lovely poem.
  • cricket
    awsome poem ive tried to kill myself so many times but to scared to go through with it im here if you wanna talk.
  • Mel
    I read your poem and it was great. I also read what the other people wrote before I took a vote and Leanna said basically what was on my mind. I like the fact that you were head strong enout to think that through and Im sure that was a huge accomlishment GOOD JOB
  • kayla
    this was a very very sad poem. you are a great poem writer!
  • Holly
    GREAT POEM! I LOVED IT!
  • Lauren
    awesome poem. it really got to me. you are very talented. keep it up!
  • Eponine
    This is such an amazing poem. I know someone who thought death was the only way out, the same thing happened to them and this poem reminds me of it
  • leanna
    I've thought about ending my not so lived life (being only 16) once before, but i couldnt bring my self to do it. knowing how others would feel and how deeply hurt they would be, i could never rest in peace knowing how badly i hurt those people who actually did care. (believe it or not, there are people who do love you, even though you might not believe it sometimes, their there) but i have come to realize that life is to short beautiful to be worried about the past or the hurtful things people can say and do, or the emtiness you feel when no one is around, no one to be there for you when you cry or just need someone to talk. you just need to let go of the hard or hurtful past and keep it in the past, lock it in a box and throw away the key, forever, never to be un-opened. so for all those out there who are thinking about ending your life, or anothers, think about all you would be missing, all you've ever lived for and ask yourself this. is it worth it?
  • marcy
    This poem touhes me because at the moment i'm feeling conflicts like the ones in the poem. I have tried to kill myself but can never manage to do it and it is also because i don't want to hurt my mother.
  • Christina
    This poem really touched my heart it really shows how it is ithink this is a very good poem and i think every one should read it.
  • Carine
    All I can say is wow. This is an amazing poem, it touched me so deeply. I sort of want to cry, it reminds me of myself too much. It's kind of creepy how much it affects me. I really love it! Makes you put in question everything i've done and I alwyas knew I had acted selfishly but this just proves it. It's excellent! Thank you and I love you!
  • Angie
    Oh my gosh! This poem is just amazing. I have tried to kill myself many times before and have recently been thinking about it again. But now, after reading your poem, I realise how unfair it is to everyone else around me, why should my peace cause their sufferance? It isn't right. Thank you for helping me see the other side of my choices.
  • Samantha
    hey, i attempted suicide, and I still have flashbacks, and I think about the same things to this very day. I wonder what might have been, so, you touched me more than you can know, I am still in depression and poems like this are what slowly but surely keep lifting me out of it.
  • TJ
    this poem sounds exactly like wat i went through so thanx 4 writing it and lifting me up. xxxx
  • Angie
    This is a VERY VERY powerful poem. Unfortunately I can relate to it really well as I have tried to kill myself before. Thank you for writing this poem and thank you for helping me understand that it would have been very selfish of me to take the easy way out by killing myself, to leave everyone else to deal with my lose and all the questions and curiousity. Thank You and I love you.
  • Jennell
    Hey, Your poem really hit home base with me I could totally relate to it so yeah keep on writing!
  • Julie
    Oh my Gosh! This is exactly how I feel sometimes. I just could never put it into words. Nice writing!
  • Leah
    i can relate to this poem very much, im only 13 but im suffering from depression, sometimes i just get so frustrated and fed up with everything and i want to end it all but then i think about what i'll loose and who i will make suffer as much as i did(am)and i think suicide is the stupidest thing anyone could do no matter how bad the situation.One time i hit my hand on the wall and almost broke it out of frustration i had a huge bruise on it. thanks for writing this it made me feel a little better.
  • cherry
    so sad but so true!
  • ashley
    This is such an awesome poem. I can relate to this in weird ways. I have never tried to commit suicide.. but I have wanted to. I get depressed really easily anymore, and its so hard to talk to anyone. You made it so clear when you wrote this. You helped me in more ways then one. Thank you so much! Keep writing and remember, that no matter what, you always have writing. So if you want to commit suicide ever again.. remember to write. get your feelings down on paper.. and it might help you. it sure helps me!
  • Amanda
    this is a great poem i really like it, its really long and it rythms. usually alot of poems that i have read never rythme.
  • Tania
    it was a sad poem but it had sooooo much meaning to it
  • jennifer
    this poem touched me in a way I can not decribe. I was always looking for a way to explain to my family the way that I sometimes feel when it comes to things like this and this poem answered all thier questions and even brung upon tears.
  • kay
    THIS POEM WAS THE GREATEST. I COULD RELATE TO THIS POEM IN SO MANY WAYS ,MY FAMILY TOO. I LOST MY FOUR YEAR OLD BROTHER WHEN I WAS ELEVEN. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
  • Nicole
    This poem is a really great poem and I know exactly how you felt b/c I also have been in a similar situtation. Now I love my life, but I still have my ups and downs. I always know that GOD is always on my side though. Great Poem Keep It Up!!!
  • Sara
    I loved your poem dearly, you have put into words the very thing that I am fighting as we speak. I am 17 almost 18 years old and suffer from severe depression. I fight to live for each day, and sometimes I'm close to losing. But it helps me along to know that someone out there too knows what it is like to stand on the brink of death look over and think "I need to hang on for a few more seconds". Life is something that everyone should love. I love life, I need my life. But there is that deep dark dull pain that has haunted and continues to haunt my life. Knowing that you have been there eases my pain, knowing that someone else knows the indescribable pain we feel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
  • Tina
    brilliant, powerful. I'm glad you didn't succeed in your attempt :) Congrats on a beautiful poem!
  • Wolf
    ive been in your shoes before, im 14, and have attempted suicide before. suicide does nothing for you, except cause pain and grief. if you feel it is your "detiny" then you truly are sad. heed my words, for it is best for you and your family if you will just put down the knife.
  • cheetah
    thanx so much for writing i loved it so much
  • Kelle
    This is a great poem! i also feel this way sometimes, where i just want to die and get it over with, but slowly i am realizing that i should enjoy life to the fullest. Tahnk you so much for helping me realize this!
  • ROSE
    I HAD TO VOTE FOR THIS POEM INSPITE THAT IT WINS!! I READ THIS POEM AND IT MOST TOTALLY REMINDED ME OF MYSELF, SOMETIMES I JUST SIT AND CRY LIKE TODAY AND WANT TO DIE. I HAVE LOTS OF FUN IN LIFE I GUESS AFTER I READ THIS POEM IT DEFFINETLY MADE ME FEEL MORE SURE ABOUT LIFE. I'M JUST A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL.
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