My dad coughed up some blood in January this year. Four days later we were told that he had lung cancer. There was a 6- centimeter diameter mass growing on an inoperable part of his lung and there was break away cancer in his liver.

My dad did not look or feel sick. My dad died last month, and I held his hand while he drifted away.

He was a warm caring man with a big heart. He used to wipe away my tears with his strong hands. I wrote the following poem while my dad was sick and read it at his funeral. It will reveal to you my selfishness.

This poem originally was published in Sad Poems - Poems about Death

He Must Have Life
I don't wish for death to ease his pain
I am too selfish for that
He must have life

I must be able to hear of his life
He must continue to sing to me
I need to see his beautiful baby blues
sparkle and shine

I don't want to just remember these things

Even in his pain they sparkle and shine

I need him to be here to show me who I am
To show me where I came from
If he left, part of me would leave
I would be someone different

I need to touch and hug him
To let him know how important he is

I don't want to remember these things
To feel the pain that I will feel
when my memories of him start to fade

I want him here with us
I want him here with no pain
I love you, my Dad

All through my troubled and sad childhood,
through my rebellious adolescence and through adulthood,
I always knew that you loved me

I hope you knew that I always loved you too
82 Visitor Comments (from the Voting form)
  • Tammy
    I know these feelings oh so well! thank you for puttin my pain into words!xx
  • Eriel
    I can totally relate to this poem, absolutely miss my dad so much. This poem truly touches the way I feel right now. My dad died of lung cancer, and pnumonia, -- tells us how bad smoking can really be. We didn't know he had cancer untill the start of this year, I also held my dad's hand while he passed away, it's such a sad experience. It's hard to believe how he's gone. It's be about 2 months since then. I still can't believe he's gone. This poem is great.
  • Nadia
    It's an amazing poem! My dad left us and I still love him! It's a wonderful poem and I love it
  • amparo
    THis poem made me cry. it just touched my heart so much. i juss wish i could bring him back to life. i know one day we are gonna be together but i wanna be with my dad as soon as possible. this poems is really good.
  • Siannean
    I too was selfish when I lost my Mother - my best-friend - to lung cancer. I sat holding her hand in those final minutes, telling her it was ok - she could let go - my lips on her cheek as she let out her last breath. and all the while on the inside screaming "NO! You can't leave me here alone. please hold on. DOn't let go!'' I understand. and I am so terribly sorry for your pain. We are selfish, we are human, and it is ok
  • lynn
    this poem touched me alot. this is my first birthday without my father. he passed away April 15 2006 (about 6 months ago). almost everything that u said in the poem pertains to my situation. keep up the good writing
  • Belynda
    Loved the poem, touched the heart. My father passed away from cirrhosis, from drinking too much. I was held his hand up until his last heart beat. I was 16yrs old, so he missed my graduation, prom, college move-in day and everything. Although that is sorta selfish, I really just wanted him to be with me through all these things. I still have some anger toward him, for leaving us, but your poem easied just a little bit of that. Thanks
  • barbie
    I'm sorry for your loss, i know what your going through, my dad died just 3 weeks ago, and he meant the world to me.
  • Meli
    I haven't lost one of my parents, but when I read this poem it really touched my heart!
  • gail
    i can relate to your story! i lost my dad to just last year! i cant accept the fact that his not here anymore until now! you make me cry!
  • Marybeth
    This poem made me remember my father. I don't know of anyone who could not relate to the feelings expressed in this poem. Excellent job
  • Jo
    This poem is amazing and has also summed up how I felt during my Dads illness, we have just lost him to lung cancer too. I felt the same selfishness you describe, so this poem has really touched me, and has made me feel so emotional, it helps to know I'm not alone in the way I was feeling. Thankyou
  • Maria
    As I sat here and read this poem it brought tears to my eyes. its simply beautiful . my dad passed away in december 31, 2005. and its sooo hard. i miss him sooo much and i love him. the pain in my heart it hurts soo much .
  • jasmin
    i love this poem its quite sad. i liked the way u expressed your feelings! i think expressing and telling people your feelings makes them a bit better! writing them dwn is another realy good way of describing and expressing your fellings!i realy enjoyed it!
  • ashley
    i really liked your poem. im sorry for the loss. i just lost my uncle to lung cancer on february 22 and i know how it feels to lose someone
  • Melisa
    That was a beautiful poem it really touched me. My grandpaw died in 2001 from lung cancer and he was like a dad to me. You described all my feelings in your poem. It is beautiful!
  • Karen
    I lost my father to lung cancer in March 2005. This poems says exactly what I was feeling as I watched him fade away. We only had 7 months with him from diagnosis to his death. Great Job in summing up your feelings.
  • Jessie
    My mom died of lung cancer when i was seven. Now im sixteen and missing her more than ever! it will be 9 years this up coming saturday! I know how you feel and your poem touched my heart completly!
  • Sarah
    i love this poem because its great and it relates to my father. when he died last month of my 16th b-day i found out he had a disease called chirosis. its a liver disease because of his drinking and when he died his heart, liver, and heart all stopped working at once. :( well thanx for the help with these poems i have been looking for some good ones to put in my fathers scrapbook and these are the ones! ;)
  • iris
    your poem is so beautiful i know how u must feel about your dad cuz my dad died of cancer 2
  • stacey
    this was a good poem i just lost my dad i really lik eur poem
  • Yesli
    I vote for this poem because it is really nice i haven't lost my father or mother but this poem still has a very strong feeling
  • Michelle
    One of my closest friends recently lost her father to lung cancer, he coughed up blood just like the your father. I have only met her father twice, but knowing that she loved him and that her and her two sisters and mother, are going to be without a father. This poem touched my heart and made me think of all of the things that she will be missing/thinking. My prayers and thoughts are out for all who suffer a loss. I am deeply and truely sorry for your loss.
  • ilona
    ey gud poem n im sry bout ur dad i no he ment da world to but he will always be in yo hart
  • kate
    just to say how much your poem touched me
  • jamie
    This poem is great and it described how I felt after I lost my dad to a heart attack last year.
  • Trish
    Excellent poem. My dad passed away 5 days ago from lung cancer that had spread to his brain and liver. Losing my Dad has left me numb. I love you Dad. Memories will keep you alive in my heart forever.
  • Sarah
  • michelle
    I lost my father on May 23,2005. Your poem reflects the very feeling that troubled me the most, pain or freedom from pain. (he died of colon cancer that spread to his liver/lungs). Thank you for sharing.
  • elizabeth
    that touched me i lost my dad in jan of 05 he woke up that morning huged me kissed me on the cheek and told me he loved me and everything is going to be alright. and left with out neightbor. 30 min later we get a call saying my dad had passed away. his heart exploded. that poem means alot but there is one thing that i wish is that i could still be able to hold and tell him everyday that i love him. you did a great job on that my dad would have loved that poem.
  • Jessica
    This Poem is just what i felt the day he (my dad) died almost 3 years ago and still how i feel. The poem made me cry and wish he was standind here with me
  • deedee
    i love this poem my dad past away feb 20 2005 it still hurts
  • bianca
    that was a beautiful and sad poem. I loved it alot. my grandpa has cancer it gets scary.
  • pam
    hi your poems remind me of me you must have been daddy's girl i know i was my dad died 3-27-1999 and i miss him very ,very much daddy i love you very much your little girl pamiee
  • Emerald
    Really liked your poem. I'm 17 and lost my grandad to cancer on August 31st. I'm sorry you lost your dad. Hope you keep writing, you're good at it x
  • Katie
    This poem touched me so much I'm crying as I write this. Beautifull, absolutely beautifull.
  • Chelsea
    Your poem was so beautiful I was holding back tears you have a true talent. I never really had a dad, he could care less about me but I did have my uncle but he passed away in March of 04 of a disease in his lungs and kidneys. I sat on his bed for threee hours and held his hand as he died. Good luck with gettign over the loss of your father. I will keep you in my prayers.
  • Robert
    Your beautiful words struck a very deep chord with me. Thank you.
  • Rae
    Although it wasn't my dad that just passed away I loved your poem. My grandmother passed away the 4th of October, two days before my birthday, from cancer of the jaw. I couldn't stand to see her but the day she passed away I wanted to skip school to stay with her. I loved this poem because it really hit home. I've never had to deal with a death so close but when I read this poem it made me feel like it was okay to let go.
  • Katie
    Your poem has changed my life.
  • Gloria
    Sorry about your father. My mother passed away also and it touched me because i was also selfish and did not want her to die even though she was in pain. very good poem, written from the heart.
  • Noemi
    My father died 4 days after i had my baby boy. He never got the chance to see him. He also had lung cancer that he's been fighting for years. Some how he knew he wasn't going to make it this time. I would pray i would get out of the hospital in time so he could see his grandchild. But he died that same morning i was getting out. My family had a chance to say good bye. I just wish i had just one more second with him. This Poem said what i was feeling.
    i really loved the poem . i can say i had more tears than my sister when my dad died i was only 4 well i really loved your poem
  • Amy
    i think this really expresses the love hate relationship between dad and daughter
  • Stephanie
    OMG your poem was so touching! I just loved it! It was amazing
  • Angi
    My father just died last month, March 2004 of lung cancer. He was so sick that it would have been inhumane for him to continue living, but I was also selfish and wanted him to live regardless. My mother passed away 10 years ago, when I was 16, so my father was all that I had left, and I was not ready to let him go.
  • nicole
    i liked that poem it touch my heart and made me think about my dad that is dead. i miss him too.
  • Gregory
    I loved your poem it really seemed to capture what we all feel when someone dies. I know what your father went through, I was recently freed from my burden of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, and now I write about it like you do. I hope you keep writing, for some it is their only way to show their true feelings.
  • Dave
    i have to say that was wonderful. i'm not one to admit when i have tears crawing down my fac, but that's all i wanted for my pop pop. :*-(
  • Rebecca
    My dad is dying of cancer it started in his lung, everytime i read your poem i cry beacause though he is in so much pain 'he must have life'. I love my dad soo much. I was 12 when he first got sick i am now 15,3 years of agony. Life does suck!
  • linda
    yesterday was the one year aneversiry of my faters death and that poem was exactly how i felt
  • Carmen
    Your poem brought tears to my eyes. Though I have only experienced the death of my grandfather and a few of my childhood friends, I could feel your pain and see your agony. Your diction wasn't vague or mysterious, it was naked and real. Beautifully written. Take this tragedy and bring forth something good: publish what you write!
  • Ashley
    I really liked it i just wished that he wouldnt have died he seemed like a really nice guy! i also really liked some of the describing words that you used
  • Connie
    What a beautiful poem, I love this one. Today, my father passed away from lung cancer, with multiple tumors in his brain. We found out two months ago. We thought he would live a little longer. I wish he was here so I could tell him I love him just one more time. I miss him. I came here to have some comfort. I LOVE YOU DAD!
  • Erin
    awsome i LOVED IT
  • Kay
    You are not being selfish, no-one deserves to be without their Dad. I still have my Dad, but not my Uncle, whom I was very close to. He died 5 years ago of a Heart attack, he wasn't that old either. I was very selfish when my Uncle died, I didn't think about his Wife he left behind or his Son or Daughter (who I am also very close to). I just wanted him back for me. It's not selfishness, it's part of the grieving process. I still miss him like it was only last week when he died and I still want him back. He knows how important he is to you and I bet he's watching over, making sure you are safe.
  • keita
    this was excellant. my father died of the same thing many years ago. you perfectly described my thoughts at the time. thanks
  • Nicole
    I am a 12 yr. old, and just lost my dad in March of 2003. He found out he had Lung Cancer on December 25, 2001. I really wished he was here right now, sick or not, but for me, so I can be happy and move on with my life. That was a great poem.
  • sylvia
    i loved the beautiful poem. i lost my father to lung cancer 13 years ago i was 23 years old. i was always and still am daddy's little girl. in his last months of life i had the priviledge of helping my mother care for him, and i would not trade that time i had with him for anything in this world. we were able to share our feelings and tell eachother how we felt about everything. i tell everyone i know now that have there fathers still to cherish them and treat them as if it were the last day they could ever spend with them. i still wish my father was here with me every day. i know that he is in heaven and that the lord needs him in heaven and i will see him again.
  • mich
    I have to say that was beauful. I can feel the pain you are feeling. I to have lost someone very close to me. Its very hard to loss the people who love us uncondtional
  • Emily
    When I read this poem, it made me think of me and my dad. He's still alive and well, but I thought about what it would be like to lose him in such a way. It actually made me CRY, and that's something I don't do very often.
  • Lynn
    i really love to this poems becasue i can relate to everything in this poem. my dad was diangosed with the same thing. and i did not want him to die. but my dad resantly to be exact. he died eight months ago. and i went through the same thing she did
  • EVE
  • ruben
    I too know your pain. My wife of 19 yrs died this past January 13th. You wrote a beautiful poem about your dad. Just as you loved your dad, I too loved my wife. We were both in our early 40's without children. Coping is the hardest part of healing. I'm a talker and I was always verbalizing something to Marie. Now with her gone, the house is quiet . too quiet.
  • ClaĆ­re
    I think that this is a really good poem. I know exactly how you feel and this poem really explains it all. I'm 16 years old and my dad died 6 years ago and I still and always miss him. Thank you for wrting this poem and I hope that you continue to write poems. From Northern Ireland
  • roe
    what you wrote is a universal feeling that unfortunately, most people suffer everyday from. it's weird, how something that can be shared with everyone can still have you drown in your own melancholy. beautiful poem.
  • Thomas
    Shron i now what you are going threw my father died on january 9,2002 The same way lung cancer he died in my arms on the way home from a doctors visit in my mothers car he cough up some blood and then he started to hemrige in the car and died in my arms before the e.m.t's could even get there.Iwant to say good job on your poem keep writing and always keep yor dad close too your heart hpoefilly our dads got a chance too meet each other keep ypur head up and stay strong
  • debbie
    my dad had lung cancer , he will be dead one year on feb 2002. iam looking for a memorial poem to put in the paperfor his one year anniversary. i like this one . your frien from novascotia, canada
  • cindy
    i think this poem is excellent i lost my father and its the same i'd rather see him every day sick then never see him agian
  • Minnow
    My Father died within 3 days of cancer, I know how you feel, Thank God he never knew
  • aleen
    this is every touching a pretty it is jus like me and my dad he is dieing and i dont want him to go and i dont no what i'll do if i dont get to see his face any more so tell your parent you care and that you love them because they wont be here for every even though you wish that they can but they can so spent as much time with them as you can because tomorrow may not come to be with them and you may wake up and they wont be there
  • aShLeY
    i absolutely loved this poem
  • helen
    This is too close to home , my dad passed away a month ago, he too had cancer ... I was unable to get my aussie passport renewed in time to go home but my sister sat with him , held his hand till the end also my son was there..
  • Natalie
    I feel your poem expresses a hidden truth that we all feel deep inside when loosing a loved one. It is natural to feel a sense of selfishness, and I prefer to think of it as a sense of security that we all find in that person. Well written.
  • kate
    well done a really touchy poem , it really hit a nerve inside me
  • melissa
    My father in law is dieing and I am looking for a poem that might say how I feel I was really touched by yours....Melissa
  • Ember
    your pome was geart my dad is dieing to this dad but he don't know that I know soon he will be no more. I heard him and my mom talking about how will they tell us kids. Because I just found my dad not to long a go this is my frist good year with him I don't want him to go but yet I want him to. because he dose not know how to be a dad. why is it when you need someone the most they have to go away
  • babygirl
    that was a very beautiful poem.You are not being selfish you are just expressing how you feel deep inside.

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